Out of the mouth of inner-city babes...

I have another funny story to share. This one involves a little 10-year-old hellion named Mikayla. Mikayla is really snotty and gets in trouble all of the time. One ordinary day last week, she got in trouble and I sent her to the "Quiet Cave" (time out) in the back of the room. It was almost recess, I went to give her the little teacher chat ("what is going on?","What could you have done differently", "There's a side of you I love and I wish I saw it more..." yada yada) Anyway, after I lectured her, we just got to talking. To really tell this story well, the next part has to come as dialouge:
Mikayla: Do you have a Valentine?
Me: Nope I don't.
Mikayla: Ooh! I could set you up with a handsome black man!
Me: Oh really?
Mikayla: Yeah and your kids would be half black.
Me: They would be really cute. It would be nice for them to not be sooo white like me.
Mikayla: You're not white! This is white (holding up a piece of paper). You are like brownish, with pretty green eyes and a white smile and long brown hair.
Me: Well thank you.
Mikayla: This is how it works. You will be sitting somewhere working on some papers and this handsome black man will be sitting next to you. You have to say, "excuse me. Could you help me with these papers?" Then he will ask you out to dinner. When he takes you home he will kiss you on the cheek or maybe even the lips.
Me: On the first date! I don't think so!
Mikayla: Yeah and then on the second date, he will get down on his knee and say, "Ms. Buttars- Will you marry me?"
Me: He's going to call me Ms. Buttars?!
Mikaya: I mean, "Tracie- will you marry me?"
Me: Wow! The second date huh? Can't I at least have a third?
Mikayla: Maybe a third. Then you will get married. But here's the thing. You have to use protection. Do you know what word I am talking about when I say protection? I'll just say the word...
Me: (choking on my spit and trying not to laugh) No, no. I know what you are talking about.
Mikayla: Well I won't say the word but you know. PROTECTION. My aunt tells me all the time that I have to use protection or I will get pregnant.
Me: Uh... Let's go see what everyone is doing for recess...

Here are some random pictures that don't fit anywhere else so I am just putting them on here...

On the longest escalator I have ever been on in my life at the Metro Center metro stop. You can't even tell in the picture unfortunately.


Getting eaten by a T-Rex at the Museum of Natural History.


I know this looks a lot like the previous picture but this time I was imitating the hippo.